The Invaluable Moment

It so came to pass that I was digging through my old archives of backed up files and folders; and lo, I find this piece of writing in the mishmash. I post it here since I think it is valuable enough to not lose, and valuable enough to share. I have no clue where I got this from, but I think it is a translation of an Indian regional author’s work. Anyhow, I thought it was quite a powerful piece, which is why I typed it in almost a decade back. Here it is:

The Invaluable Moment

You and I – the reality is going to end any moment now. And then, you alone will remain.

You, alone.

The time for my final journey is fast approaching. The anguish welling up in my heart will burst forth like a rain cloud and shatter my very being.

My friends are unaware of this sad fact. When they visit me, I crack jokes as usual and they cannot contain their laughter. To entertain them, I narrate humorous anecdotes. Laugh with them. They do not hear the rumbling notes of sadness in my laughter.

Here I am. About to merge with nothingness.

Nothingness.

An inconsequential event – or is it a very important one? Something did happen. Is that what is important?

Anyway, I am that invaluable moment caught between two planes of existence–the past standing on the threshold of the present, and today which is goig to merge completely into yesterday… with the countless yugas… the chaturyugas… the eternal… the infinite… the neverending yesterday.

I bid farewell. It is all over.

No. It is going to be over.

From the next moment onwards, I will be a part of those countless yesterdays cast into oblivion.

Many of my friends and those who I loved dearly have gone already. Where are they, the multitudes who left before me? Memory constantly returns to the beginning.

The beginning…

I feel as if I have finally reached the unknown boundary of eternity’s mystery. Here it is! A resonant echo of Pranava’s jubiliation?

Are you listening?

All this time, you loved me with boundless compassion. You suffered me. And you knew me. For you, I am an open book you can read and sense leisurely at your own convenience.

But you are still a great enigma for me. In all these years, it has not been possible for me to know anything about you. Unawares, I loved you. Unawares, I hated you. Have I wantonly ever caused you pain? Even if I had, you loved me. Suffered me.

I have divulged many of my secrets to you. You have witnessed all my actions. Will you make me a laughing stock?

Here, I leave you. Even as I go, I continue to love you. When was it that you and I got to know each other? Or, did we ever know each other? I tried, though. Eventually, I learned only to love you. No, I never could comprehend anything clearly. Essentially, I knew nothing.

Nothing.

Alone I came into this world. Alone I go now. The time for that journey is drawing near. And you alone will remain.

You, alone.

[Unknown author and translator: if you know the correct source for this piece, do drop an email]

One Comment

  • Ah, the simple joys of life“. Still more to it… Google not only lists http://www.rnspeak.org as the top result for “euonymous aptronym”(for which I took great pains to search the online dictionaries ##@@$$%%) but also for the “Invaluable moment“. I was indeed mesmerised with the peice of work.

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