Mysteries of the wedding invite

WEDDING (n.) A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, and then spend the rest of their lives deciding which one.

Dear, Dear Reader:

(Nota Bene: The crucial details are right at the end, so if you are busy, maybe the scroll down button is a good idea.)

We find the prospect of authoring the perfect wedding invitation very daunting indeed – it is quite the Herculean task to string the right words in sequence, suggesting just just the right tone and quality and affection. Nevertheless, write we must, but pray allow us to indulge you in the slightly rocky path that led to it.

We tried everything. Believe us, we did. We tried the time-honored invite – “It gives us immense pleasure to solicit your gracious presence on the occasion of our wedding…”, but for some strange reason, copy-and-paste didn’t work, so that left us staring blankly at the keyboard again.

We then toyed around with the idea of creating waves by a brilliant and singularly ingenious piece of writing accompanied by a series of HDR enhanced photographs – but quickly realized that we had neither the creative genius nor the appropriate camera to perform such a feat.

Then came the idea of Pluto. There was a really, really, really cool idea about Pluto. Yes, most definitely something related to Pluto. And Godel. Pluto and Godel. (Sound of furniture against human head). Ah well.

Relentless in our pursuit, we thought maybe we should turn to China, with it growing 10% per year and all. Something about yin and yang struck us as a little, er, circular in logic, so we abandoned that as well.

(Now you get why it took us so long to get the invite to you, don’t you?)

But anyhow, throwing brevity to the winds and after much deliberation (some of which we have elected to impose on you in the above paragraphs), we finally came to a most surprising conclusion that the secret to the perfect invitation, of course, is to find the perfect name to put down on it and find the perfect person behind that perfect name. Voila! Double checking how to spell David Beckham and Victoria Beckham, we finally knew that we’d cracked it.

So. Where were we. Ah yes, the invite. Without much further ado (observe how we’ve not created much, ahem, ado), we’re just going to invite you to partake in our wedding as we embark on our journey together. Oil’s almost $100 a barrel and we have no car, so it would greatly help if you could bring along any of those as well. Just kidding! All we need is a private jet, actually.

But seriously, it would be wonderful if you could make it to our wedding and wish us luck – we already can’t stand each other. So scroll down to the very end for the details (venue, date and time).

We’d be delighted to make arrangements for you (however, we regret to inform you that due to unprecedented demand, time travel is currently fully booked) – so if you’d like us to, give us a shout and we can work out the logistics.

Hope to see you there, and do not hesitate to call either of us if you have any questions!

Much love and peace from Ramesh and Rashie.

7 Comments

  • wish u and rashie a new beginning and a wonderful journey ahead !!! :-)

  • Rajesh Raja wrote:

    Hey Ramesh Rashie,

    Best Wishes to you both!! i wish you a life of happieness, cheer, love, laughs, and good times!!

  • Ozaka Moraiya wrote:

    oh my god…oh my god.. chalu chalu chalu chalu… the heights of chaluishingly chalu supremacy…

    man, hadn’t read this invitation letter till today.

    wish you all the best man..

    Take care,
    Yours chaluingly
    Ozaka!

  • Deepak wrote:

    hey…

    U GOT MARRIED!!!! thats HUGE!!!

    neways congrats to u and ur partner.
    best wishes to u both…

    ne plan o comin to kerala netime… looking 4ward to cing u sometym…
    bubye…

  • Hi Ramesh,
    That was a very hilarious invite indeed.
    Congratulations, wish you a happy married life.
    I would like to offer an excuse for not making it since you so pain-stakingly invited your readers; but you did not reveal (not surprisingly!) the venue, date and time :-)
    Cheers,
    Salil

  • Good luck!

  • Anonymous wrote:

    nice invite…

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